There are a number of couples, married or otherwise who feel like the person they wake up next to is not the people they feel in love with. In some situations, you may even feel like you feel nothing towards the person you settled down with, or may be feeling more nothing than something. Falling in love is the easy part, staying in love, on the other hand, is not. It takes hard work, patience and sacrifice from both sides.
Why do people fall out of love?
There are a number of reasons as to why people generally fall out of love. There is a noticeable pattern to all of this and it is usually characterized by the following:
Communication, or lack of it
You might have heard it a thousand times before, but there’s a reason why it is stressed upon so much. Communication is everything in a relationship. You need to talk, spend time with each other, and make sure you are perfectly understood and that you understand your spouse equally well. Lack of communication is one beast, but communication that is misunderstood is even worse. Couples therapy is a great way to get close in that gap.
Your partner is changing
People change, that’s just the way it is. Over time, the person you fell in love with may not the be the person you are looking at right now. In fact, you are not the same person either. That is plain human nature and expecting one person to stay where they were when you first met them is unfair and cruel. Everything from career path to family and friends change, shape and mold a person through their life. In fact, as a partner, you also have a major role to play in their changing personality. It is not a bad thing, but if you still want your high school sweetheart to stay that way, then maybe you need to take a look at your expectations in the relationship. The thing though, is that your love for that person will also have to change and grow accordingly.
No marriage is guaranteed to succeed
Never buy into the myth of the ultimate marriage. If you do, you are headed straight for disappointment. You do not have the perfect marriage. No one has the perfect marriage, it is all trials and tribulations that you have to go through with every single one of them. That feeling of security that you have someone to back you up or prop you up when things are on a downward spiral is the true test of marriage. So make sure you are there for your spouse as much as you want him or her to be there for you. It may sound whimsical, but that is just the core of it, days will be bad, they will get worse, so stand by each other.
You are not the only one in it
A lot of people start focusing only on themselves. What you feel, what you want, what you expect, and what you deserve. You have got to take a step back and consider both of you. Try to get the ‘I’ out of as many situations as you can.
Do not expect more from your partner than what they can give to you.
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