Regardless of how well you know your significant other or how comfortable you are with one another, there will be times of conflict in all couples and relationships. In such situations, it is stressful for both parties. At the same time, if you don’t handle the conversations properly, it can create problems in the future.
Avoiding these difficult topics is not a good solution as they will only add to the list of problems. Whether it is problems regarding sex, childrearing, health habits, household tasks, finances, or any other similar difficult topic, you will have to talk about them with your significant other eventually.
If you follow the following tips, it will become easier to bring up, discuss, and resolve difficult topics!
Avoid using “but” as much as possible
When you are discussing difficult topics, it is common human nature to try and soften bad news as much as possible. One of the many ways that people do this, is by using the word “but.” When you use this word, you will first deliver good news to your significant other before giving them the bad news. While this may seem like a good idea, it is stressful to your partner. Why? Have you ever heard good news when someone uses the word “but” in the middle of a sentence? Even if you have, the chances of it are extremely low. Also, when we hear the word “but” we expect the sentence to end on a bad note.
To make sure that the conversation goes accordingly, you should avoid using “but” as much as possible. Instead, you can deliver all the bad news, before ending the conversation on a positive note.
Never go off topic
When all couples and relationships bring up difficult topics, it is quite easy to get sidetracked. As a result of this, there are higher chances of losing focus on the current problems in your relationship. When you are in the heat of the situation, it is quite common for you or you’re significant other to bring up all types of infractions, even if it is not relevant to the topic of discussion.
Avoid bringing up old problems as it will only worsen the situation. Also, when you bring up old topics, your significant other may get hurt. If your partner brings up irrelevant topics, tell him/her that you will discuss them at another time.
Pick the right time for discussion
Keep in mind that it is always better to discuss difficult topics with your partner as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the harder it becomes to have a productive conversation with your significant other. Also, you should know that there is no perfect time to pick a conversation with your partner. However, don’t have the discussion when you have to attend a social gathering at the end of the conversation. Never have the conversation with your significant other just before he/she goes to work.
If you don’t remain optimistic while discussing difficult topics with your significant other, the entire situation will feel hopeless. Due to this mentality, you will be pessimistic when listening to your partner, which isn’t good for any couples and relationships. As the conversation is difficult, you should always tell yourself that both you and your partner will work together to create a better future for your relationship.
Time-out if things go out of hand
Sometimes, when you are having a difficult conversation with your partner, things may go out of hand. The conversation might heat up and reach a point where it no longer makes sense to continue the discussion. During these times, you should take a time-out so that you and your partner have time to breathe and think about the situation. Don’t take a time-out for more than 24 hours as it isn’t good for your relationship. After both parties are calm and composed, you can start the conversation again with your significant other.
Use these tips for bringing up and discussing difficult conversations in all couples and relationships!