“Our friends and our therapist keep telling us that we will be able to trust each other again sometime, but I just don’t see how that is possible.”
It’s hard enough just to have a conversation about the kids!”
“How will she ever forgive me? I know how hurt she must feel.”
Chances are, you or your partner has had one or more of these thoughts over and over since the discovery of the affair. You are putting in the effort by going to counseling together and may be separated as well, but deep down, you wonder if it is just a waste of time. You have no hope that your relationship will ever be healed or even get back to polite interactions, no matter how well your therapy sessions go.
Every situation is different because everyone processes and copes with traumatic discoveries in their own unique way, but you may find that following some of these steps will help you and your partner restore trust:
It Is A Process
Healing and reconciliation happen in stages, and you may find that you don’t feel any mental or emotional changes in real-time. But when you look back over the past several weeks or months, you will see how far you have come and got a grasp on how much you have left to go. This process can seem to take a long time, but remember that your relationship is worth this investment, no matter how long it takes.
You may find it helpful to reference this blog post as you consider the healing step in the couples therapy process: