In the last post, we dealt with 4 things that most couples might have heard as facts, but just may not be so. The following write up will have four more pointers that can help couples realize that not everything they hear or even think of as fact may actually be true. Let’s dive right into it.
Children are the key to a happy marriage
While not many people thankfully think this way anymore, it is definitely something that you might have heard from parents or grandparents. A child is definitely something that you must consider in your relationship, but it is definitely not the key to a happy marriage. Couples therapy will tell you that you should think about expanding your family with children only when you are completely ready for that responsibility. In fact, satisfaction or even happiness in a relationship can steadily decrease with every addition of a child. That also does not mean that you will not bond with the child, but that will only happen if your relationship is solid enough for it to work. A child brings a new role to the relationship, that of parents, be sure you are prepared. Parenthood is a joy, but can quickly turn into a burden if you are not ready.
Jealousy is a sign of a healthy relationship
While it may seem like a cute feeling where your partner is completely enamored by you, if those feelings go out of control, you might just be facing a situation where you are completely trapped. If you are a jealous person, then keep in mind that you or your partner might be constantly working toward trying to please each other, going out of the way and inconveniencing each other in the process. That is because no amount of care can satisfy jealousy. Getting over jealousy, however, is easier said than done. You really must approach a marriage counseling therapist in such cases where these feelings are really straining your relationship.
Do not come up with any dissatisfaction early on
No one is perfect, you are not perfect, your partner is by no means perfect. That is why you should voice certain causes for dissatisfaction early on. It also does not mean you reject every person you meet on the smallest things, nor does it mean you become a nag about everything, but it does mean you have to speak up in certain instances. Tardiness, for example, if your partner is late all the time, you might want to point that out than let it fester into a large explosion later on in life.
Couples therapy means your relationship is at a dead end
That is probably the wrongest statement anyone has ever made about relationships. While in some cases, couples normally do seek therapy only when it is too late, it is also a sign that people are willing to work on an issue. Think of it like this, you do not take a car to a shop only when it is giving you trouble. You take it regularly to keep it running smooth, so seek out the help of couples therapy, and even if you do end up there when you are in the middle of an argument, you are at least trying to work it out.
Have we missed anything out? What are your thoughts on this subject?