People often say that watching pornography is a ‘harmless’ habit – but is that really true? To be frank the impact of pornography on adult sexual relationships is controversial, but it is clear that in some cases it can impact marital intimacy.
Suffice to say, if you feel that watching pornography is affecting your marriage – you may be onto something. In fact, our certified sex addiction therapists can offer some insight on that front.
Reasons for Watching Porn
Have you ever stopped to think why you enjoy watching porn? It may sound obvious, but if you delve deep into the reasons why people watch porn – you’ll get a hint as to how they can influence behavior even to the extent that it affects your relationship.
Some of the main reasons why people watch porn are:
Arousal: Arguably the main reason that people watch porn is for sexual pleasure. Porn can provide access to ‘hot’ and ‘more extreme’ sex, but it is not a real sexual relationship.
Education: When teenagers get curious about sex, the easiest way to learn more is by watching porn. Unfortunately porn in itself is not a realistic depiction of sex, and can skew their perspective.
Loneliness: Porn can be used as a way to escape feelings of loneliness, but the more people use it in that way – the lonelier they become. It is a cheap distraction, but in the long term will only contribute to the problem.
Boredom: While porn may appear to be a good way to alleviate boredom and pass the time, it really isn’t. The more it is watched, the more people will need new and more ‘exciting’ content to scratch the itch.
Peer pressure: Many teens end up watching porn due to the peer pressure they feel. As pornography has become more normalized, teens often talk or boast about it in their social circles – which makes others feel they need to watch it as well so that they’re ‘accepted’.
All in all it should be clear that watching porn for any reason is simply not healthy. It is not a ‘solution’, and can end up being the cause of other problems instead.
As you’ve probably realized, porn can jeopardize your marriage – especially if it turns into an addiction. But how exactly do you know whether you’re addicted to pornography or not?
Generally if you are suffering from porn addiction, you’ll probably exhibit several signs:
- Can’t stop watching or viewing porn despite wanting and trying to do so.
- Lost time due to watching porn and wasted significant parts of your day without accomplishing anything.
- Lost interest in sex and are distant with your partner or may even prefer watching porn over the real thing.
- More demanding sexually, to the point that it is unrealistic.
- Diminished attraction due to unrealistic expectations of beauty.
- Physical pain due to the movements that go along with watching porn, or excessive computer usage.
These signs will affect your marriage, and make your partner feel undesired. In the long term it will undoubtedly affect their self-esteem and result in a loss of intimacy too.
Sexual Addiction is Not About a Type of Behavior
It is important to note that having an alternative sexual lifestyle such as polyamorous or kink is not and should not be considered an indication of compulsive sexual behavior. Sexual or Compulsive sexual behavior is defined by an undeniable continuous urge which prevents you from your day to day activities.
Seeking Help for Porn Addiction
If you feel you have a problem with porn addiction remember this.
There are many others like you who suffer from the condition, and the key to overcoming it is to find a qualified mental health professional who can help.
If you want you could get in touch with Novus Mindful Life. Their mental health professionals specialize in counselling people with porn addiction, and are strict about confidentiality.
Now that they offer teleconference counselling, Novus Mindful Life is a very convenient option. All you need to do is call 562-269-1382 to schedule an appointment for an online therapy or phone session.