Signs & Symptoms That You May
Need Couples Therapy
One of the biggest contributors to, or downfalls of a great relationship is communication. Communication doesn’t always mean “talking it out”. It is the general breadth of engagement that occurs through every small action we do (or in some cases don’t do). It requires conscious effort from both sides to mindfully communicate healthily for a relationship to evolve positively and flourish. A few signs to be aware of that are indicative of poor communication are:
- Defensiveness or apprehension when engaged by your partner.
- Constant belittling and/or criticizing one another.
- Assumptions regarding what your partner is thinking.
- Dwindling attempts and/or opportunities to connect.
- Passive aggressiveness.
- Silent treatments, cold shoulder, stonewalling.
- Lack of compromise from either partner.
- Arguments that never find resolution or ones that seem to repeat.
It’s important to note that the previously mentioned circumstances are symptoms to look for, but they are not the effects that may result from the symptoms. Predisposed resentment towards one another, which causes both people to lose the ability to listen to one another with intent. The remainder of the effects is a waterfall that derives from this alone.
The most common effects that are experienced by couples with communication issues are:
- Higher rates of overall conflict between partners.
- Avoiding opportunities to have real connections.
- Feelings of loneliness, exile, invisibility, etc.
- Passion and/or intimacy issues.
- An impossibility to reach common goals.
The nature of communication problems makes the scope of the issue hard to see fully from the inside. It may seem obvious to you that your relationship is lacking communication in many ways, but unless you and your partner can find a way to convey that to the other, then it’s unlikely that progress can be made.
Couples therapy and counseling are the perfect way to figure out where you both are getting the signals crossed. At Novus Mindful Life, we’ll open a dialogue for you, and your partner that may never have been a possibility without a therapist’s perspective. One simple conversation could very well tip the scales on the communicative abilities you share, or lack.
Serving Long Beach, Ca, as well as Orange County, Ca; all it takes is one call to begin communicating better with your partner! The sooner you start, the more time you’ll have to enjoy one another!
Trust & Security
Trust means much more than believing your partner will never cheat on you or vice versa. Trust means letting your entire guard down and completely exposing your vulnerabilities. By doing this, you give the other person the keys to this vulnerable part of yourself and know without a doubt that they will never feel the need to open that door for any reason. This is the base of trust and security; the knowledge that you and your partner will never falter or doubt the love that you share.
Trust issues can arise for all sorts of reasons, and many times it isn’t even due to the relationship we are currently involved with, and sometimes it isn’t even a relationship at all. Some insecurities come from trauma experienced as children, the death of a loved one, or even a prolonged subjection to being taken advantage of by anyone we trusted.
That being said, if the root cause seems to be an individual concern rather than a relationship issue, couples therapy can still help to heal these wounds. Having your partner there alongside you, or vice versa will certainly help to strengthen your love and understanding of one another.
We are all aware of the obvious signs such as blatant unjustified jealousy, checking the person’s accounts, or phone messages, accusations, etc; regardless, below you’ll find some of the less-obvious telling signs of a relationship suffering from trust issues:
- Anxiousness is felt by either partner when the other is out of reach, or out of contact. When one person has to know the whereabouts and happenings of the other at all times.
- Hiding thoughts, and emotions from the other partner. Trying to prevent them from having access to those vulnerabilities.
- Having to constantly be reassured of the other’s commitment, or love.
- Anxiety regarding the level of commitment from the other partner. So much that it becomes a tightrope or eggshells that must be walked on.
- Either partner testing the other. Methods vary, but the tests always seek to validate the partner’s commitment.
This list is not comprehensive and doesn’t even begin to encapsulate the extreme variation found in the symptoms of insecurity. If you feel that trust is a concern in your relationship that may never improve without intervention, we are here to help!
At Novus Mindful Life, we will facilitate the mediation, and non-bias assessment of your concerns, then allow you, and your partner to reach deeply into your recent or distant pasts to find the root of the issues. From that point on, you’ll have a better understanding of why these feelings affect your connection, and may even have the tools to repair your trust; whether as a couple or individually!
If you reside outside of the Long Beach area; no worries! For your convenience, we are now providing online sessions as well, alleviating the need for travel, and mitigating any concerns regarding the pandemic.
Lack of, or low-quality intimacy is one of the more difficult things to solve as a couple. This is due to the enormous spectrum of possible causes that may be unknown, even to the couple. It may also be hard to alleviate any underlying symptoms if a person isn’t willing to discuss them, or if the person is concealing them for fear of embarrassment.
In any case, it’s usually able to be self-diagnosed, but not so easy to overcome. The effects may come, and go periodically, or they may linger for years! It’s important to rule out any possible related medical conditions before seeking out treatments elsewhere. Assuming both of you are in good health, here are a few indicators that your sex life is suffering:
- Sexual dissatisfaction on any level. This may entail unmet expectations of intimate frequency or the duration of individual occurrences. It may entail a lack of passion or a desire for new experiences. Countless variables can affect this.
- Loss of sexual desire by either partner.
- Intimacy becomes a treat or a form of punishment that can be revoked.
- Feeling as if your partner is more of a roommate who shares a bed, or worse yet, sleeping in separate rooms, or beds.
- Setting routines for sexual encounters, or reserving them for specific dates such as birthdays, etc.
- Sex sessions leave both partners unsatisfied.
- Frustration during sex at the inability to please one or both partners.
The signs may seem obvious to most, but some have stumbled into these issues and have become accustomed to them. Some couples are even totally without sexual contact! These types of situations are usually swept under the rug for any number of reasons, however, for an intimacy problem to be solved it must be addressed.
Some of the more common causes of intimacy issues are:
- Stress-related circumstances such as work, kids, finances, life changes, etc.
- Loss of passion, connection, interest, or attraction.
- Medical conditions of either mental or physical nature. Prostate cancer in men is a common reason, or menopause in women. Depression, anxiety, or insecurities for either partner are common as well.
- Underlying issues elsewhere in the relationship such as trust issues, or bottled up resentment for any reason.
These types of concerns may be difficult to discuss with a therapist, but it’s important to remember that we’re here to help you overcome your problems as a couple. We never discuss your business outside of therapy, and we never judge any person for any reason.
At Novus Mindful Life, you are guaranteed a place of respect and honor, where your concerns (no matter the nature) are taken seriously and with empathetic, non-bias attention.
Serving Long Beach, Ca, and the surrounding areas; we strive to help you live a better life with your partner! We are here to help. That’s what we do!
Save your relationship
The Novus Counseling and Recovery Center can help save your relationship from a breakup or divorce.
At Novus, we believe in creating emotionally intelligent relationships, where both people take an active part in building a relationship or marriage that works for both. We use proven relationship therapy techniques based on the research by John Gottman and other leaders in the field of couples therapy.
Many couples wait too long to ask for help, which makes the relationship therapy process more difficult and less effective.
If you are having problems with communication, parenting differences, priority-setting, a mother-in-law, even infidelity, the sooner you begin therapy, the better.
Get closer to your partner
Have you ever wanted to feel closer to your spouse? Couples therapy can help this come true. Many people have unconscious barriers making it very hard to get closer to them. With a strong relationship counselor, these barriers will become apparent, making it possible to remove them.
How couples communicate with each other is a key factor in how the relationship functions. Therapist near will identify how you two communicate, then teach you more effective ways to talk and listen to each other.
Therapists at the Novus Mindful Life Insitute Counseling and Recovery Center are experts. All of our therapists were selected to work for us because of their skill, experience, and motivation to help couples. We also have a variety of therapists with different training and styles, so you can find a good fit.
Many couples wait too long, which makes relationship therapy more difficult because there is more water under the bridge. Take care of yourself and your marriage by taking action. Marital problems don’t just go away by themselves.
Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late
Many couples wait to get into couples therapy until their problems are so bad that it’s hard to heal. If you think you would benefit from meeting with a couples therapist, schedule an appointment and get started. It only gets harder as resentment builds. Let our experts at the Novus help you and your relationship.
Reach out for help now.
Getting Started at Novus Family Counseling and Recovery
Where do I start?
Getting started with therapy can feel intimidating and overwhelming, and taking the first step can feel difficult. At Novus it is important to us to meet you where you are on your journey.
We want to make it as easy as possible, so we recommend starting here!
What challenges or struggles do you help with?
Novus provides support to people who may be struggling with anxiety, depression, stress, grief, and anger management. We specialize in treating relationship conflict challenges, sex and pornography addiction, betrayal trauma, substance addiction recovery and more.
What types of therapy do you offer?
At Novus we have a wonderful team of compassionate and knowledgeable therapists who provide individual therapy, couples therapy, group therapy, marriage and relationship counseling.
Our therapists have use many different techniques such as regular talk therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), GMI (Guided Music and Imagery), DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and other modalities.
What is a CSAT?
A Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT) is a Licensed Therapist who has gone through additional rigorous certification and training programs offered by the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP).
CSATs are highly trained trauma treatment experts who support clients working through difficulties that untrained clinicians may overlook. CSATs have a deep understanding of the root causes, experiences, patterns, and trauma that can lead to compulsive sexual behaviors.
Are your therapists experienced in trauma?
Our therapists are highly experienced in Trauma Model Therapy. This is a structured therapy that involves a blend of cognitive-behavioral, systems, psychodynamic and experiential principles. The program can be delivered in individual or group therapy in an in-patient or out-patient setting.
Do you take insurance?
Novus is not contracted with any insurance companies. We are a cash-pay facility and payment in full is taken at the time of service. If you do have a PPO plan with Out of Network mental health coverage, we can submit courtesy claims on your behalf following the session to request any reimbursement you may be eligible for be paid directly to you. Many of our clients are able to obtain partial reimbursement once their out of network deductible has been met.
Do you take Medicare or Medi-Cal?
Services provided at Novus are not covered under Medicare or Medi-Cal. Novus providers are either ineligible or have opted-out. Medicare beneficiaries who receive care from a provider at Novus must complete an opt-out agreement acknowledgement.
What does therapy cost?
The cost of therapy varies depending on the training and expertise of your therapist as well as their years of experience. We offer a range of fees and will work to coordinate the best clinical care for you that works within your budget.
What is your Covid protocol?
Due to Covid-19, we are currently offering in-person therapy for clients who are fully vaccinated. If you are not vaccinated, we can provide support to you remotely via video or phone sessions.
All staff at our office in Long Beach are fully vaccinated. Sanitizing cleanliness measures have been implemented and FDA approved air filters installed in each office. Masks are required in our lobby and common areas, however may be removed while in session if both you and your therapist agree.
I’m ready to schedule my first appointment. What's next?
We are honored you have chosen Novus for your road to healing and recovery. Our office is located in Long Beach, California. You can book an intake session by calling or sending us a text message at 562-431-5100 or emailing us at email@example.com. When you text us it will take you to our secure texting platform Klara, in which you can message our scheduling team directly.
Do you offer a free consultation?
Novus offers a free consultation with one of our trained Intake Coordinators who can speak with you to understand your unique situation, offer helpful resources and support you in finding the best therapist who can meet your treatment, scheduling and budget needs.
How does online therapy work?
Your therapist may arrange to conduct a remote video session with you using TherapyPortal, Google Meet or any HIPAA compliant platform.
What can I expect therapy to be like?
Usually in your first session your therapist will ask you a few questions to better understand what you are struggling with and what support you will need. You will leave the session with a plan on how to manage the struggles you are experiencing.
Each individual experiences therapy differently. You should leave therapy empowered, supported, and understood even when things are difficult.
How often do I have to come in?
Most individuals attend therapy weekly. You are always in control of the therapeutic process and how often you attend. Your therapist will assist you with a recommendation of how often visits might be scheduled based on your unique needs.
Call us today at 562-431-5100
At Novus, we provide a compassionate team of professionals who will work with you with a level of commitment that you will not find anywhere else. Let us help you start or further your recovery today.